5 Things to Stuff Besides Your Thanksgiving Turkey...

Stuffing, by far, is what I love most about Thanksgiving. Cornbread stuffing, sausage stuffing, stuffing covered in gravy – I love it all. Family, too, of course, and turkey and all the other trimmings, but stuffing…it’s just so incredibly good!

In recognition of the time-honored tradition of stuffing the Thanksgiving turkey, here are five more things to stuff to make your holiday season extra special.

1.       Stuff the Fridge with Healthy Snacks – every nutritionist I know keeps easy-to-grab portions of healthy snacks ready to go at all times. With a solid month of parties and cookies and constant temptations ahead of us, stuff your refrigerator with freshly washed fruits, cut up vegetables, small portions of healthy soups, and heart-healthy protein sources like hard-boiled eggs. Un-stuff the refrigerator of expired foods, sugary sodas and overly-processed treats. For more inspiration on food prep, visit my friend Nicole’s Blog.

Quality time at its finest: my dad helping my son season the turkey, circa 2003

2.       Stuff your Calendar Intentionally – productive people make time for that which is important. Make sure exercise, family time, fun traditions, and plenty of downtime feature prominently in your holiday schedule or your time will slip away with the demands of daily minutia.  Un-stuff your calendar by batching your errands, saying “no” to unnecessary meetings, and delaying anything that can wait until the new year.

3.       Stuff a Donation Box – take a walk through your house and fill a box or two, maybe even the trunk of your car, with clothes, toys, books and kitchen gadgets. Un-stuff your cupboards and drawers before the baking begins, and imagine how good it will feel to un-stuff your closets before the holiday guests arrive.

4.       Stuff the Recycling Bin – make room for holiday décor by ruthlessly purging those paper piles. Recycle the magazines and catalogs you aren’t going to read and shred the documents that don’t back up your taxes. While you’re at it, un-stuff your computer and mobile devices of old emails, texts and excess Apps. 

5.       Stuff your Gratitude Jar – if you’ve read anything about mindfulness, you know how important it is to have a thankful heart. If you’ve neglected to keep a gratitude journal, it’s not too late. Stuff a page or notebook or even a jar with all the blessings of 2016. Keep going. Prepare yourself: this act can dramatically un-stuff your heart of negative and hopeless feelings.

My goddaughter helps with Thanksgiving Dinner, circa 2013

Apparently, we aren’t supposed to stuff our turkeys anymore. Food safety experts say it increases the risk of food poisoning, plus it just looks better and tastes better when cooked separately, in my opinion. I fully intend to stuff myself with at least two healthy helpings of stuffing this week. But I like this idea of stuffing and un-stuffing a few other areas of my life, too, especially that gratitude jar – I have many, many blessings for which to be thankful. How about you? 

Practicing Mindfulness and High School Graduation

“What do you miss?” my father asked recently while on our weekly shopping trip. Having suffered a mild stroke last year, I now take him on his errands, and we occasionally find ourselves having deeper conversations than the price of bread. 

Though the question was random and without context, I knew instantly my answer: 

“I miss the days when I didn’t doubt myself.”

Eighteen years ago, pre-parenthood that is, I was confident and capable and there was logic to most of my days. I trusted myself, my actions, and my destiny.

My son at 3 months old

Then I had a baby, and for lack of a better word, I was "schooled."

I didn’t know how to do anything; the stuff in the books rarely worked; and I lived with the certainty that I was ruining this child’s life, one painful day at a time.

My daughter at 3 months old

Joining a mom’s group and drinking lots of wine helped mitigate my self-doubt; watching kids way worse than mine convinced me I was doing something right; and in due time I regained enough confidence to birth a second child.

A very happy occasion. Photo by Dan Liu

Then SUDDENLY, just last week, I watched my son, my first born, graduate high school. 

He wore a cap and a gown, an extraordinarily beautiful smile, and a certain confidence that filled me with pride. His younger sister, equally proud (or perhaps surprised?) congratulated him via Instagram with the simple caption: 

He made it.

Their last first-day-of-school together

Holy smokes – that was no walk in the park!

Parenting is NOT FOR WIMPS.

From the first diaper change to the first car accident, it’s a never-ending stream of self-doubt.

The toddler years were a blur of footie pajamas, goldfish crackers and 
“Where iS MY BLANKIE!?” 

(Should he even have a blankie? Will sucking his thumb cause a speech impediment?)

Grade school was all about crayons and getting into college. 

(Are these spelling words on the SAT? Did that soccer mishap just blow his chance at a varsity letter?!)

The tween years were an epic battle with social media. 

(Is Instagram ok but Snapchat not? Or is it the other way around?) 

And the teen years – they were every bit as awful as you’ve heard – only worse. 

(Does reading his texts and stalking him on Find My iPhone make me a helicopter parent?)  

He DID earn that varsity letter, despite plenty of mishaps. Photo by Dan Liu

The Uber-Organized Parent

I’m convinced well-organized people suffer the biggest adjustment to parenthood. We think proper planning is the answer to most of life’s conundrums. Show me a checklist and a consistent routine and I’ll show you success! 

But an eight-pounder with a will of its own laughs in the face of order.

Here’s a short list of parenting recommendations that were a complete disaster in my home. It’s not that I don’t recommend these; it’s just that I couldn’t pull them off.

(My) Parenting Fails:

• all forms of chore charts, sticker charts and checklists (started and stopped)

• summer reading programs (kept trying)

• allowance programs accompanied with sound money management (never happened)

• limited access to technology (epic failure on this one) 

Where’s the Beef? 

Geez. Looking back on this 18 year reflection, it seems I have some beef with the parenting experience, and my son must be a hot mess. 

But the fact is; he’s lovely. And I’ve loved being his mama. 

My son enjoying his own moment of mindfulness. Photo by Dan Liu

Enjoy Every Minute

We’re hearing much about mindfulness these days. “Enjoy it while it lasts,” the veteran parents tell the rookies. 

These moments of mindfulness, I think, are the moments of complete ordinary. They are the sacred moments when nothing is happening except everything is happening. They are moments free from judgement and self-doubt.

Do kids understand mindfulness better than adults? Photo by Dan Liu

Some of my favorite mindfulness moments:

• Fussy baby days when I would finally just sit and hold him 

• Daily trips to and from school – age three to 17

• Late afternoon homework sessions at the kitchen table 

• TGIFs on the driveway with scooters, jump ropes and sidewalk chalk

• Sitting together on his bedroom floor sorting outgrown clothes

• Early mornings fixing breakfast with his country music playlist in the background

• Listening to him and his friends laughing while they played video games

Maybe, hopefully, these were the moments when, despite too much screen time and not enough structure and the all-too-often take out dinner, my son developed into a fine young man. 

My father, best known as Pop, and my son. Photo by Dan Liu

 “What do you miss, Pop?”

I asked my father to answer the question, too. He misses his career – rising each morning with purpose and responsibility. Retirement offers plenty of perks, for sure, but it seems like living-in-the-moment is a skill honed over the course of a lifetime. 

I’ve got plenty of parenting moments before me. My younger child is still in high school; and the twenties are the new teens, so it’s not as if my recent graduate is actually an adult. 

Realizing my favorite memories are the everyday ones has given me reason to let go of the doubt and brush up on my mindfulness skills. I’m looking forward to lots more of the regular, ordinary, and status quo.

Photo by Dan Liu

Congratulations to my blessed son on the occasion of 
his High School Graduation.

 Are you practicing mindfulness, and if so, what does it mean in your life?

Can You Prove You are You? 3 Ways to Protect Your Identity if Disaster Strikes

Imagine a fire, a flood, a tornado taking everything – your home and all of its contents. Imagine your laptop, smart phone, files and wallet - gone, too. Could you recreate your identity? Could you prove you are who you say you are?

Could you prove you are YOU?

Victims of Hurricane Katrina faced this complicated form of “identify theft” when flood waters washed away everything they ever owned, as described in this story.

·         Passports and birth certificates: gone

·         Keys to bank deposit boxes: gone

·         Driver’s licenses, utility bills, credit cards: gone

                             

      

September was National Preparedness Month and we heard an awful lot about emergency kits and safety plans. Indeed, I wrote about three different kinds of kits here. But perhaps the most important kit of all is the Identity Kit – a collection of all the data needed to rebuild one’s life – should disaster strike.

The Identity Kit

Like any emergency kit, it’s better to have some kind of Identify Kit versus no kind of Identity Kit. Here are three options for safeguarding your important information (a list of vital documents follows):

Old School: take TWO front and back copies of all important cards and documents. Keep one set in a safe location in your home. Make sure you remember where it is and that it’s accessible in an emergency. Secure the other set with a trusted person in another state or city.

Tech All the Way: use spreadsheets, inventory software, or password managers to track account numbers, usernames, and other important data. Upload pictures and photocopies, too. Store everything in the cloud for easy access anywhere.

Diversify: if Old School seems too limited, and Tech All the Way too risky, a combination of paper copies, electronic docs and cloud storage will cover all bases.

THE IDENTITY KIT
IDENTITY DOCUMENTS	Birth Certificates Marriage Certificate/Divorce Certificate Passports Social Security Cards Driver’s Licenses/State Issued ID Cards
FINANCIAL DOCUMENTS	Bank Accounts Credit Card Accounts Investment Accounts Securities & Trusts Last Tax Return Loan Documents Outstanding Debts Safe Deposit Box Key
PROPERTY	Mortgage Papers/Deed Other Properties (rentals, vacation homes) Car Title(s) Other Titles (boat, motorcycle, RV) Inventory of Home Contents
INSURANCE DOCUMENTS	Home Insurance Policy Car Insurance Policy Life Insurance Policy
MEDICAL DOCUMENTS	Health Insurance Cards Medical Records List of RX Medications
LEGAL DOCUMENTS	Wills Medical Directives Powers of Attorney Business Documents
DON’T FORGET	Phone Numbers (lots of people don’t know these anymore) Cash (small denominations) Complete List of Passwords & Logins

Richard Kline said:

Confidence is Preparation.

Everything else is beyond your control.

Emergency Preparedness brings peace of mind.

Build your Emergency Kits.

Make your Emergency Plans.

Everything else is beyond our control.

The following websites have loads of information about disaster preparedness:

The American Red Cross

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (the CDC)

Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA)

Ready.gov (a part of FEMA)

EmergencyKits.com

Survival Supply

A Swing Set With a Purpose

My daughter at 14. Swing sets are her "happy place."

 My daughter turned 15 last week and for her birthday we built a swing set. An unusual gift for a teen? Probably - but it was in sync with my mission statement – and though I didn’t know it at the time – it turned out to be the perfect gift.

My son at 17. Apparently teenage boys like swings, too.

Do you have a Mission Statement?

A personal one – not just a business one?  I keep reading about people who write strategic plans and they wonder why they didn’t do it sooner. Because apparently when we operate from a clear purpose, everything else falls into place – or so I’ve heard.

I recently created a strategic plan for my business and simultaneously sketched one out for my personal life, too. It’s been the ultimate in project management, stretching my brain from big pictures to tiny details.

Strategic Plan Basics

Vision

Mission & Purpose

Core Values

Strategies & Tactics

Goals & Objectives

I spent hours trying to differentiate Mission from Purpose. This article from the Disney Institute proved extremely helpful, as does this Simon Sinek Ted Talk. But don’t get tangled up in definitions (like I did) – just get some basic thoughts on paper and you’ll be on your way.   

Here It Is

My “purpose statement” is shaping up to be something super simple and stripped down – like:

JOY

Not the happiness that comes from a nice house or a good meal, but the deep down JOY that comes from living life abundantly.

My husband adds the finishing touches.

And this is where the Swing Set enters the Picture

I was thinking about my daughter and what brings her JOY, and images of her smiling and swinging came to mind. My husband and I agreed life was too short to worry about dead spots in the lawn and went to work on this swing set. It was completed just hours before her party.

A simple swing set with a simple purpose.

 Now it gets really Exciting!

This is what my new 15 year old has since been doing while on her swing:

Laughing with her brother

Playing outside

Singing

Studying

Talking with me

Jumping

Chatting with Grandpa

Enjoying a slice of birthday cake on her very own swing set.

I knew the swing set would bring her JOY. But I didn’t know the swing set would simultaneously address many of my other objectives: decreasing “screen” time, for example. 

If you’ve never considered a strategic plan for your personal life, give it a try. I can certainly attest that when you operate from purpose, things do fall into place.

Build Your Dreams!

Posted on Not So Totally Orderly Pinterest Board - Found on BuzzFeed

How a Keystone Habit Is Changing My Life...

The countdown is on.

 I’m 49 years old with fewer than 12 months before the Big 50; so naturally, I made a list of all the goals I’m hoping to reach before I hit the half-century mark.

Health goals, intellectual goals, family goals, spirit goals, financial goals.

And I want a theme – something catchy.

FreeDigitalPhotos.net - pat138241

Right now I’m feeling Fifty and Fragmented.

Sometimes Fifty and Forgetful.

At best Fifty and Functional.

I’m going for something big – like Fifty and Phenomenal.

This is going to require some serious new habits.

This is going to require a Keystone Habit.

KEYSTONE HABITS

I read about Keystone Habits in Charles Duhigg’s book The Power of Habit. A Keystone Habit is one really good (or bad) habit that spawns a bunch of other good (or bad) habits.

Those who exercise, for example, also tend to drink more water, eat more healthfully, and manage their calendars. Exercise, therefore, is the Keystone Habit.

I need one mother of a Keystone Habit – because I have a mother-load of goals.

KEYSTONE SUNDAY

FreeDigitalPhotos.net - arztsamui

I’m calling my new habit Keystone Sunday. It’s the ONE thing I simply must do every week if I want to hone all the other habits necessary to reach my goals.

This is how it works, in all of its absolute simplicity (why haven’t I been doing this for years!?)

I plan my week, in complete detail, every Sunday.

I meal plan, grocery plan, exercise plan, work plan, volunteer plan, kid plan, house plan and dog plan.

I fill my vitamin box, empty my inbox, and load up the icebox.

I do everything I can to set myself up for success in the coming week.

KEYSTONE TOOLS

These are a few tools I’m using to support Keystone Sunday.

One Note: I use this software to track my “big picture” goals and projects. Evernote would be a similar option.

Product of Microsoft

Wunderlist: This handy App tracks my to-do lists, syncs between my PC and mobile devices, and allows me to send items straight to my calendar. I check it daily and add to it constantly. Things, Toodledo and Errands are other popular to-do Apps.

Wunderlist

Outlook: I use the calendar in Outlook to track my daily schedule. I put EVERYTHING on my calendar that needs to get done on a given day. Google and iCal are additional electronic calendar recommendations.

Product of Microsoft

Focused

I’m hoping Keystone Sunday leads me to all sorts of wonderful successes. I’ve been at it for about five weeks now. I’m humbled by the habit – planning takes time and effort – sometimes many more hours than I ever dreamed. But I’m also in awe of this Keystone Habit’s potential – I’m accomplishing tasks and projects at an unbelievable pace and honing new habits along the way. 

Which leads me back to my “theme.”

Habits pave the way to success. By taming our impulses they unleash the possibilities we hold within. And it’s with this understanding I set my intention for the coming year:

Who's with me?